Choices
by FangirlandWriter013
Summary: Set at the end of season 4, alternate ending. What if Amanda had leverage, and was able to get free of the prison?
1. Chapter 1

Set at the end of season 4, alternate ending. What if Amanda had leverage, and Nikita was forced to let her go?

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.

Reviews are much appreciated

"There are people out there that are loyal to me. They will find me" Amanda says.

"No one will ever find you" I say and start to back out.

"Nikita! I have something for you...and Alex." she says. "Sean Pierce is alive" she says. A few moments later, Alex runs through the door.

"What?" she says, tears jumping to her eyes. "Sean died in my arms. He…..can't be alive. It's not possible."

I stare at Amanda. "Sean is dead. I moved the body." I tell her.

"Oh come on now. I thought I taught you better," Amanda smiles. "Deaths can be faked. And as you know now, doubles can be made. Before the dirty thirty broke into Division and started that shoot out, I swapped Sean for a double that I created. The man that died in Division was simply a pawn in my plan. Besides, I knew I would need leverage if it ever came down to this."

"Show us proof" Alex demands.

"Of course." Amanda says. "Just let me out of these restraints first."

"Not an option:" I say. "Alex, she could be lying. It wouldn't be the first time."

"Nikita, if this was Michael or even Daniel, what would you do?" Alex asks me.

I look at her for a minute and say "Okay fine." I still point my gun at her as Alex frees her.

"I need the Ipad you're holding Alex." Amanda says, and Alex gives it to her.

A few clicks later, Amanda holds up the Ipad.

Alex gasps "Sean?"

"Alex" he says. "Can you hear me?" he asks.

"Yes...are you okay? Did she hurt you? Do you know where you are?" Alex asks.

"No she didn't. I have no idea where I am. Alex, I've missed you so much. " He replies.

"Sean, I promise we will find you. Hang in there" Alex says.

"That's enough." Amanda says, grabs the Ipad, and crushes it under her heels. "Now you either let me walk out of here and you will get him back alive, or I will kill him."

"Deal" Alex says.

"No. Alex, think rationally. I get it, you care about him, but if we let Amanda go she will kill more people. We can't risk that." I explain.

"If there is a chance I can get Sean back, then I have to take it." Alex replies.


	2. Chapter 2

Reviews are appreciated! If Covid-19 has affected where any of you live, stay safe!

"Nikita, if this was Michael, or Birkoff or even Ryan, what would you do?" Alex says.

I look down for a moment and reply "Okay Alex. You're right." I take Amanda and slam her into the wall and grab her neck. "If you are lying, I swear to you that I will find you and I will kill you." I let her go and she gasps for breath.

"Don't worry, I'm not lying" she says with a smirk. "I always love seeing that monster inside of you."

"Get the hell out of here before I change my mind." I say, and she walks out. Michael runs in.

"Was that..did you just let Amanda walk out of here?" he asks in surprise.

"Sean's alive." Alex responds. "And the only way to get him back was to let her go."

"Why did you let her?" Michael turns to me and raises his voice slightly. "We fought this battle and we won. Now we are back to square one, and that's on you."

"Why are you acting like this?" I ask him. "Sean was part of our team. We don't ever leave a member of our team behind. I was hesitant too, but if Amanda had me instead of Sean, what would you have done? " I continue, looking at Michael the entire time.

"Damn it" he says and kicks the wall.

"Michael, calm down. We will find her. I promise" I say to him. "Alex, give us a minute" I tell her, and she nods and walks out.

"Nikita, I love you. I wanted this chapter of our life to be over, so we could finally move on...together" he says.

I place my hand on his cheek. "I promise we will. And then we will have all the time in the world. We can go to Mexico like you always wanted. We can drink cocktails on the beach. We have time"

Michael leans in and kisses me. "I'm just worried about you. I've seen how Amanda has affected you before. I just don't want her to get in your head again"

"She won't. We are both stronger than ever" I assure him. "Let's get out of here. We can get dinner at the restaurant you've always wanted to go to."

He smiles and we walk out hand in hand.


	3. Chapter 3

Reviews are appreciated! I didn't make this, but thought this was beautiful! Its called Michael and Nikita - All of Me(I'm a big Mikita stan!)

watch?v=ubakGb2F-Jc

Michael POV:

"Alex, can we talk?" I say.

"Of course. Is something wrong?" Alex asks.

"No. I just….I just want to apologize about how I acted back in the cell. I was way out of line." I respond.

"I get it. You were worried about Nikita" she replies back. We glance over to her, sitting on the steps lost in her thoughts.

"We've all seen how Amanda has affected her before...I just don't want Amanda to get in her head again. I don't want her to get hurt again." I explain to Alex.

"She's one of the strongest women I have ever met. If anyone can beat Amanda, it's her" Alex says. I nod, and she walks away.

"Alex" I call after her. "I promise we will get Sean back." She smiles and walks off. Birkoff enters the room.

"Alex told me what happened." Birkoff says. "I can't believe Sean's alive." he says.

"I know. Apparently the Sean that died in Division was a double." I explain to him.

Nikita POV:

I can't help but think about what Amanda will do. I mean she is so cruel and ruthless, she could kill and twist anyone to her own will. Suddenly the phone rings. I pick it up, "Hello?" I say into the phone.

"Hello Nikita." a voice responds.

"Amanda." I say back. "Where is Sean Pierce?" I ask.

"You will get him back. Soon. First I need you to do something for me. " Amanda says. I walk outside.

"Last time I did something for you, I ended up becoming the most wanted woman in the world." I reply. "We let you go, now give us Sean."

"If you want Sean back I need you to steal something for me. Then I swear I'll give him back. And this isn't like last time. You can tell anyone you want about this." She explains.

I take a deep breath. "What do I need to steal?"

"I need a diamond necklace. It's worth about 15 million dollars. Since my funding went down the drain I need some money." Amanda explains.

"What do you need the money for?" I ask.

"That isn't important. Let me know when you get the necklace. Then we will have a trade." She says, and then hangs up.


	4. Chapter 4

So due to Covid-19, school got suspended until May, so I'll hopefully be able to post more often! I am taking this opportunity to binge watch Nikita again! Reviews are appreciated! Stay healthy and safe!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.

Nikita POV:

I walk inside, my phone in my hand. I walk to the table where Alex, Michael, Birkhoff, Sam and Sonya are standing. "She wants us to steal something, and then we will get Sean back". I pull up a photo of a diamond necklace.

"Wait that wasn't the deal." Alex says.

"Amanda told me that once we have the necklace, we can make the trade. I don't know if I trust her though." I say.

"Are we sure this is worth it?" Sam asks.

"Yes. We would do this for anybody in this room, including you." Birkhoff answers.

I look around at everyone. "The necklace is in one of the most protected museums in the world." I explain. "We would have to break in, break a ton of laws and somehow leave without being caught." I continue. "We could go to prison for this. We have our presidential pardons. If anyone wants to back out, now is the only chance you will get." The room goes silent. "Okay then. It's settled." I say.

"Looks like we have one more mission up our belt." Michael says. "Then we get Sean back and that's it." I nod.

Suddenly, several gunshots pierce the air. "Get down!" I yell and pull Alex down, under the table.

"Amanda" Alex says. Five men break the glass window, and barge into the room. Sam and Michael start shooting back. I hand Alex a gun, and take one for myself. We return fire, until one bullet grazes my arm. I groan and duck back under the table. Michael manages to shoot two of the five men. Suddenly, the gunshots stop.

"We don't want to hurt any of you. We just want Sam." one of the men say. They grab Alex, and despite my efforts manage to pull are from me. Two men grab each of her arms and a third holds a gun to her head. "Give us Sam, or I shoot her." one of the men say. "You have till the count of 3. 1…..2-"

"Wait!" Sam yells. He stands up with his hands in the air. The man smiles and suddenly shoots Sam 3 times in the chest.

"NO!" Alex yells and manages to fight them off her. She runs to Sam. Michael shoots two of the men, and turns his gun on the last man.

"Michael wait!" I scream. "We need one alive." I tell him. He nods and knocks him out. We run to Alex and Sam. I feel his neck for a pulse. I look up and Alex and shake my head. "He's...gone." I say silently. Alex sobs, and with my good arm, I pull her into a tight hug. She sobs loudly, burying her head into my neck. I look up at Michael, with fire in my eyes. "We are going to make her pay." I say. Michael nods, and then proceeds to tie the hit man up.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. I hope everyone is staying safe! My goal is to update the story every Thursday or Friday. Reviews are appreciated!

"Is he awake?" I ask Michael.

"Yes." He replies. I stand to go into the room, but Michael grabs my hands and says "Wait." I turn and look at him. "Don't kill him Nikita. I know you're angry-" He starts.

"We'll see. He will pay for what happened." I tell him, my voice cold.

"Nikita..." Michael starts. I ignore him and open the door and slam it shut.

"You must be Nikita," he says. I punch him in the face over and over again, my engagement ring cutting his face. He spits blood. "Amanda told me about you," he says and laughs. "She told me you were a monster," he smirks. "She wasn't wrong."

"Shut up!" I yell and punch him in the ribs hard, hearing a crack. I turn away, trying to catch my breath and calm down.

"She also told me about you and Michael. She told me to tell you to enjoy your remaining time together." he says with a smile.

I turn on him. "What did you just say?" I ask him, almost not wanting to know the answer.

"The countdown to the end of Michael's life has started." he replies.

I pull my gun out and shoot him in the leg. He screams in pain. "You want to play that way? Fine." I tell him, and pull a machine out to electrocute him. I press the nodes to his head, and hands. "I will give you one chance. Tell me what she is planning," I ask him.

"Go to hell" he says back. I turn the voltage up, and press a button. Electricity flows through him, and he screams. I lift my finger off of the button. He falls forward and gasps for breath. I bend down to look at him at eye level.

"Tell me Amanda's plan" I say again louder, and press the button again. He screams on top of his lungs, so Michael and Alex barge in.

"Nikita!" Michael yells.

"Stop, you'll kill him!" Alex shouts. Michael comes and tries to wrestle the remote from my hand. He grabs me and tries to pull me away. I throw the remote at him and walk out, kicking a cart out of my way.

Michael follows me out "Nikita!" I keep walking, ignoring him. "Nikita!" He says and catches up to me.

"What?" I turn around.

"You need to take a deep breath and calm down," Michael says.

"Don't tell me to calm down!" I raise my voice.

"Everything will be okay..." Michael tries to tell me.

"How do you know that?" I yell. "He said...he said there was a countdown to the end of your life. Amanda is...she's going to kill you." I say. "I can't lose you...not again. And if I have to turn into the monster Amanda thinks I am, then….I will. And if I have to scavenge the Earth to find her and tear that bitch apart, I will." I tell him.

"But I don't want that." Michael tells me. "Look at you. You're covered in blood, and sweat. I don't want to lose you to Amanda."

"You don't get to choose." I yell at him, and then turn away. "Leave me alone." I walk away.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. Reviews are appreciated, and I'm curious to know everyone's favorite character from the show! My favorite character from the show was definitely Nikita, just because she was such a complex and badass character. This is kind of a longer chapter, so enjoy! Also, I changed my mind, I'm going to try to post as much as possible, instead of every Friday.

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Nikita POV:

I punch the punching bag hard, over and over again. I don't realize when the skin on my knuckles splits, and begins to bleed. It's been days since I've seen or said anything to Michael. All I can remember is the look in his eyes when we argued last. It was like he was disgusted and disappointed by what he saw from me. Maybe they were right. Amanda, Percy, hell even Brant. Even though they were psychotic sadistic sociopaths, they had always seen who she really was. Under all of the walls she put up and masks she wore. Deep down, she was the woman that tortured Brant, the woman that killed mercilessly. And no matter what happened, that person, that monster would always find a way up.

"Nikita," Alex says. I don't respond and keep punching the bag. "You need to stop," Alex says again. She grabs me from behind. "

"Leave me alone." I tell her.

"I'm not going to let you beat yourself up over this." she says.

"I didn't ask for your help." I tell her. She grabs my hands. "Look at this. You're hurt." she says looking at my hands where my skin had broken, and my arm, where my stitches from the gunshot have reopened and was bleeding a little. I look away.

"I'm fine. I've had a lot worse." I say quietly.

"Nikita, we're all worried about you. Michael said you haven't spoken in days, none of us can ever find you, you need to let us help you." she tells me.

"I told you. I'm fine" I say again, louder. "Now get out of my way." I tell her.

"Nikita. I understand. You just need to let us in," she says.

"Leave me alone," I tell her, looking into her eyes, almost threatening her. She sighs and walks off. The next day, I walk into the room where Alex, Birkoff, Michael, and Sonya were all sitting at a table talking. They all stop talking and look at me when I walk in.

"Nikki…" Birkoff starts.

"I'm not here to socialize," I say quickly. "We need to plan the mission." I tell them.

"Okay, but Nikita we need to talk." Michael says to me.

"Focus on the mission." I say to him, without making eye contact. "Tomorrow Alex and I will enter through the service entrance disguised as maintenance workers. Birkhoff and Sonya need to be onsite to hack the system, and Michael stays here to man the controls." I explain. "Is everything clear?" I ask for confirmation.

"Hold up. I'm not waiting here. I want to be out there." Michael says.

"It's too dangerous. We know Amanda wants you dead, you can't be in the field." I say.

"That's not for you to decide!" Michael says.

"We all need to calm down." Alex says.

"I am not letting you go out there." I continue, ignoring Alex. Michael grabs my arm and pulls me into another room.

"What the hell is going on with you?" Michael asks, raising his voice.

"You're being reckless, blind to the problem in front of you." I argue back.

"I don't need you to treat me like a child! I can take care of myself" he yells.

"I can't lose you again" I say quietly. I feel tears coming to my eyes, so I turn and exit the room, bumping into Alex while leaving.

Michael POV:

"Damn it!" I say.

"Hey, it'll be okay." Alex says. "She won't admit it, but she's scared. She's scared of what Amanda might do to you, and she's beating herself up over it." Alex continues, placing her hand on my shoulder.

"She just needs to open up. She thinks that only she deserves to feel pain." I tell her.

Nikita POV:

I run down the hall and lock myself in a room. I feel the cold door against my back and slide down against the door, to the ground.I feel the tears stream down my face.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. I know a lot of you were asking for Amanda's point of view, so I tried to add it here. I'm not sure how good it is though, as I have never written from Amanda's point of view. Trying to post more often! Reviews are much appreciated! This is another longer chapter!

I love this video! I didn't make it, but here you go! It's called Michael & Nikita - Grenade. I'll include a Salex video in my next post!

watch?v=k4ULGITnjbw

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Nikita POV:

Alex, Michael and I get ready to leave for the mission. Despite my protests, Michael was still coming. "There's a problem. We only have 2 kevlars." Alex says.

"You and Michael take them." I say, handing them one each.

"I don't need it." Michael argues.

"Look, you and I both know Amanda wants you dead. You have a target on your back. Be reasonable." I tell him.

"Nikita's right." Alex says. I look at her surprised. Michael sighs and puts it on. We load our guns and get into the truck. Birkhoff drops us off 10 minutes out. We get out and start walking.

"Nikita we need to talk." Michael says grabbing my arm. Alex keeps walking, giving us space.

"I don't have anything to say," I tell him.

"What is going on? I don't like this between us." Michael replies.

"We're here," Alex calls back.

"Let's finish the mission," I tell him. We head inside, saying exactly what we had rehearsed. We get inside the vault. "Birkhoff, Sonya, we're in. I need you to disable the lasers."

"I'm on it." Birkhoff replies, and sure enough the lasers come down. I grab the necklace and place it in my purse.

"Let's get out of here," I say to Alex and Michael.

Amanda POV:

_Five days earlier…_

"Amanda we need confirmation" I hear through the comm. I look down at the screen to see the visual from the body camera. I see a house, no doubt where Nikita and her team would be.

"You have a green light," I say. I watch as they fire at the house and my men return fire. "Don't kill Nikita or Michael," I tell them through the com. I watch them kill Sam, and I feel a smile come to my lips when Alex screams. I watch as they kill my men, but oh well. They were just pawns in

my plan.

_Four days earlier… _

I watch Nikita punch the man she took alive. I am watching them through a camera I implanted in his eye. I watch Nikita torture him, and Michael and Alex come in to calm her down. I smile as I see the monster, I've always known is there. All I had to do was trigger that monster. My plan is simple however. Nikita hasn't learned the one lesson I've always tried to teach her: loved ones are a liability. I just need to show her that, and make her suffer for everything she has done.

_Present day… _

"Ma'am, they're here" a voice says through the comm.

"Does Nikita have the necklace?" I ask.

"Yes ma'am." he replies. "What are your orders?" he asks.

"Kill Michael." I say, smiling. I watch the screen intenly, waiting for Nikita's move.

Nikita POV:

We head out to the main lobby area of the museum. Suddenly the alarms start to ring. "Damn it, how did they find it so fast?" I whisper.

"Just act natural," Alex says to us. All of a sudden, someone starts firing at us. Michael grabs me and we find cover.

"There!" I say and point at three men. We kill them, and it goes quiet.

"I guess that's all of them." Alex says, and starts to stand. We all stand, our guns still drawn. A single gunshot rings out and Michael groans. The bullet hit him in his lower stomach, right underneath the kevlar.

"Michael!" I scream. I look for an exit wound. "I-I can't find an exit…" I say, tears coming to my eyes.

"Hey...it's okay.." he tells me, shakily lifting a hand to my face.

"I am so sorry.." I say tears streaming down my face.

"I love you so much," he whispers.

"I love you too," I tell him, and then kiss him.

"You are the most beautiful and perfect woman I have ever met. I-I wanted to move forward with...with us….but I guess we aren't meant to be" he says, and coughs blood.

"This is all my fault… I should've never let you come out here" I say, sobbing.

"No, I need you to promise me, you won't beat yourself up over this. You have to move on. You deserve so much more than I could give you. You deserve the world," he says shakily.

"No...I can't.." I whisper.

"Nikita, I don't have much time... promise me." he says, his voice slowly fading.

"I-I-I promise.." I manage to say. He smiles, his eyes close, and his hand goes limp.

"Michael…" I say, hoping, praying for a response. I don't get one, and I feel Alex's hand on my shoulder.

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Please don't hate me for killing Michael, I promise everything will work it's self out. Hang in there!


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, or the show. Here's the next chapter! Reviews are much appreciated!

Here is the Salex video. It's called Sean & Alex - Flares | NIKITA  watch?v=BPZco-TUd1o

Also, I'm kind of curious to know your favorite antagonist. Is it Amanda, Percy, Brant, Roan, Ari, Smith (guy with hunting/shooting goggles), etc. My favorite antagonist was definitely Amanda, because of her intricate and complicated relationship with Nikita and because I thought she was a psychopath, which is terrible in real life, but great for a show.

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Amanda POV:

"Target down." I hear through the comm.

"Finally.." I whisper. I see Nikita kneeling over Michael's body. She will finally suffer like she deserves.

Nikita POV:

The world fades, and the only thing in sight is Michael's dead body. His arm limp in mine. My hands stained with his blood. The light glistening off the ring on his finger.

"Nikita we have to go!" Alex says, somewhere far off. Suddenly, the world snaps back to normal. The shouting of the guards, I feel Alex's hand pulling on my shoulder. She takes my hand and we run. We ride in the car in silence. I roll down the window and let the wind blow in my hair. When we get to the safe house, I don't say anything.

"Nikita, I'm so sorry," Alex says.

"He didn't deserve to die," Birkhoff adds.

I turn and face the team. "Amanda did this. And I sure as hell will not let her get away with it." I leave the room and go take a shower. There, in enclosed walls, I let myself feel only two emotions. One, being grief. I let the sadness take over. My tears stream down my face, disappearing into the water. The other being hatred. It burns inside me like a fire. Hatred for Amanda. I take a few days to grieve. I find myself reliving Michael's death over and over in my dreams. I find myself afraid to fall asleep. A few days later, I walk into the room where Alex, Sonya, and Birkhoff are drinking. They all look at me in surprise.

"Listen, I need to apologize. The way I was acting was way out of line. I want to clear everything up. I wasn't pushing you away because I don't need you...because I do. I was afraid I would disappoint you. All of you. And if the last few days have taught me anything, it's that you never know what could be your last day. And now Michael is gone, and…" my voice cracks, and I let a tear fall. "My point is, I never made things right with him, and now I will never get the chance. I just don't want to make that mistake with all of you." I finish, and wipe away the tears.

"What happened with Michael is not your fault," Alex tells me. She pulls me into a hug.

"I meant what I said before, I am not going to let Amanda get away with this," I say, my tone changing. "But I am also not going to let her get in my head. I am not going to lose myself along the way," I assure them. As if on cue, my phone rings.

"Hello?" I say into the phone.

"Hello Nikita," the voice replies.

"Amanda," I say, my voice steady.

"If you're finished grieving, I am aware that we had a deal, a certain necklace for the life of Sean Pierce," she tells me.

"Give us the exchange point," I say quickly, trying to keep calm.

"I'll send the coordinates. Now Nikita, if you do anything rash, the deal will be off and Sean dies. Is the clear?" she explains over the phone.

"Crystal. Keep in mind Amanda, if not at the exchange, I will hunt you down and make you pay," I threaten, my voice wavering a little.

"I'd like to see you try," she replies.

"I will." I say and hang up the phone.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own the show or any of the characters. Reviews are much appreciated. This is a shorter chapter, but I thought that was the perfect way to end the chapter!

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Nikita POV:

Alex and I arrive at the exchange point alone, with the diamond necklace just as Amanda instructed. We wait in an awkward silence.

"Nikita, you need to stay calm. Don't be reckless. Let's get Sean back and I swear I will help you hunt down Amanda," Alex says, breaking the silence.

I don't reply, my hand clenching around my gun. We hear the screech of the tires and see Amanda's cars pulling up. They stop about 30 feet from us.

Alex POV:

Amanda gets out, and Sean follows, his hands tied behind his back. He looks malnourished and is limping slightly on one of his legs. His face is bruised. Amanda holds a gun at his head.

"Sean...is that really you?" I ask. He nods weakly and smiles. A huge rush of emotions rush through me, and tears of happiness jump to my eyes. I can't believe he is alive. When Amanda told us, I was still skeptical. But seeing him now, makes it so much more real. I want nothing more than to run to him and hug him, so it takes a lot to hold myself back.

Nikita POV:

"Try anything rash Nikita, and I will pull the trigger," Amanda threatens.

"We have the necklace Amanda, let Sean go," I reply back.

"Bring the necklace Nikita, and I'll release Sean," She says. I grab the case with the necklace in it and walk up to the middle of the exchange.

"Release Sean," I tell her. Amanda pushes him toward us and he walks to Alex. I slide the necklace on the ground to Amanda. Sean rushes to Alex and he hugs Alex. Alex cries into his shoulder, whispering words to him.

As we turn to go, Amanda yells "Wait! I have another deal that I think will interest you".

"We are not interested." I say firmly.

"Even if it were say your dead lover?" Amanda replies.

"What?" I ask, shaking slightly. "If this is one of your dirty tricks, I want no part of it." I tell her.

"See for yourself, " Amanda calls back. On cue, a shrouded figure steps out of the car. The figure takes a step into the light.

"Michael…." I whisper.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own the show or any of the characters. Reviews are much appreciated!

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Nikita POV:

As I see him step out into the light, I feel all the pain of losing him come rushing back. The sight of his hand limp in mine, his blood stained on my hands. Michael's face is bruised, his arm bleeding from a bullet and is weak from the blood loss. "How is this possible?" I say, my voice barely a whisper. Amanda smiles.

"The man that died last week, was not Michael. It was a double that I placed. I had the double ready for a long time, but I just couldn't find the perfect time to switch them," Amanda explains.

"When?" I ask, my voice shaking,

"When you were in the prison with me, I had one of my men swap them. It wasn't hard considering you were so focused on me," Amanda says smiling.

"What do you want?" I say, tears jumping to my eyes.

"It's simple. I want you. I'll give back Michael and you come with me." she replies, smiling vindictively.

"Nikita, don't do it!" Michael shouts.

"It could be a trap." Alex says. I ignore them.

"Deal." I tell Amanda. Amanda throws a pair of handcuffs to me.

"Cuff her hands," she says to Alex.

"Nikita…" Alex starts to say.

"Alex, I'll be fine." I tell Alex. "Besides, I don't think Amanda will kill me," I whisper, quietly. She handcuffs my hands in front of me. Amanda pushes Michael and he walks forward. I walk forward and we stop next to each other. I kiss Michael, and he kisses back.

"Nikita, don't do this.." he whispers in my ear.

"I have to, I can't lose you again," I whisper back. I feel a gun at my lower back.

"Let's go," a man says. Michael keeps walking and reaches Alex. Alex hugs him. I reach Amanda's car. Suddenly Amanda pulls a gun and shoots my thigh, my leg crumbles from underneath me. A man catches me, and the last thing I see is a dart sticking out of my leg.

Michael POV:

_The next day…_

"How could you let her do that?" I yell at Alex. "Amanda has Nikita exactly where she wants her. Who knows what she will do to her?" I continue.

"I tried to talk her out of it, but you know her. She has her mind set on saving you, she won't let anyone stand in her way," she says to me.

"Guys, stop fighting. This is exactly what Amanda wants. She wants us to fight and divide. If we have any chance of finding Nikita, we have to stay calm and work together, " Birkhoff says.

Nikita POV:

I wake up in a dark room with dim light, with my wrists and legs tied to a chair, similar to the ones you find in the hospitals. I twist my hands and legs, but the restraints are tight. The door opens and Amanda walks in.

"Good, you're awake. Now we can get started," she says, smiling sadistically.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the show! Reviews are appreciated! This chapter is kind of a dark chapter. I have a huge AP exam tomorrow. Wish me luck! P.S. Because many of you wanted, there's a Salex scene in there!

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Nikita POV:

"What do you want Amanda?" I ask her, still trying to twist out of my restraints.

"It's simple. I want you to suffer. I want Michael and Alex and everyone you love to suffer," she says.

"Go to hell Amanda," I tell her. She picks up a knife and walks over to me. She puts the knife on my collar bone and makes a deep cut, but not deep enough for me to bleed out. I stare straight at her, biting my lip to keep from screaming out. She pulls the blade out and I feel blood dripping down my chest. She punches me a few times. She finds a camera and turns it on.

"Now, I need you to tell me where Alex and Michael are," she tells me.

"What makes you think I'll ever do that?" I ask her, my neck and chest burning from the cut. I look at the camera trying to stay strong, knowing she will send the video to Michael.

"I have my ways," she says and rolls over a machine. She attaches wires to my fingers, chest and head. She presses the button and electricity courses through my veins. I bit my lip harder to keep from screaming out, hard enough I taste blood. She stops, and I breathe heavily. After only a few seconds, she turns it up, and presses the button again. I fight back the screams but, eventually an involuntary scream escapes my mouth. I fall forward in the chair, panting. Sweat begins to appear on my hairline. She presses the button again, and this time I pass out.

Alex POV:

I walk into the room where Sean is laying. "Hey Alex," he says smiling.

"Hi," I reply. "How are you feeling?" I ask.

"I'm okay…" he tells me. "I need you to be honest with me. Since I got back, there's been this weird tension between us. Did something happen when I was gone?" he says.

I sigh. "Owen..Sam, whatever you want to call him...we um..." I trail off.

"You slept together," he finishes.

"Yes...but I mean he's gone and I-I'm not really sure where my feelings are anymore. I spent a lot of time grieving your death, but…..I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I need time. Time to figure out where my heart is," I explain.

"I understand." he says. I smile weakly and turn to leave. "But Alex, I will always wait for you," he adds. I walk out of the room, knowing if I stay, I don't know what I'll do.

Michael POV:

"Michael, Alex, Sonya, Sean!" Birkhoff yells. "Meeting now!" he finishes, sounding frantic. We all meet up with him.

"Birkhoff is everything okay?" I ask.

"No, everything is NOT okay," he replies, and pulls up a video. "Amanda sent this to me," he says, and turns his laptop to show us. The video plays, and I see Nikita tied to a chair, with a nasty cut on her neck/collarbone.

"_I need you to tell me where Alex and Michael are." Amanda says to Nikita._

We watch in horror as Nikita is electrocuted, and passes out. End of Video Submission pops up on the screen. "Oh my god," Alex says.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Sonya adds.

"Damn it!" I yell. All I see is red. "We need to find her before Amanda's torture kills her," I tell them, my voice shaking with a mix of anger and fear.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the show! Reviews are appreciated! So because this chapter has a lot of Nikita and Amanda, this video is called Nikita/Amanda - "a moment of strength"  watch?v=3wR1MUZnUd0. It's just a video about their complicated relationship. For those of you that were wondering, my exam went pretty well.

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Nikita POV:

My entire body is racked with pain. I can't breathe properly without pain radiating through my body. I think I have a fractured rib, and my leg is definitely broken. My head throbs, probably from a minor concussion. Some of my fingers are bloody because of the nails Amanda tore off. The door opens and Amanda comes in. "Are you ready to give me their location?" she asks, smirking at the pain I'm in.

"G-go t-to hell," I bring myself to say, my voice raspy.

"I was afraid you were going to say that," Amanda says. "I have concluded that you won't tell me where they are, which is okay I suppose. We can move on to phase 2," she smiles.

"Phas-se t-two?" I ask, shaking. Amanda presses a button and the chair I'm in stretches until I'm almost laying down. She reels over a cart and pulls out a machine.

"You remember this, don't you Nikita?" she questions.

"No...stop…" I reply, as I try and pull at the ropes.

"Relax…." she says and ties a rope around my head to the chair, holding me still. She starts an IV, and lets a sedative flow through my bloodstream. I pass out. I wake up later, in a dark room. Michael runs in and helps me up.

"Nikita! I thought I lost you. I'm so glad you are okay," he tells me, cupping my face in his hands.

"Michael…." I whisper. "You found me….I was so scared." A few tears slip down my face. I kiss him. I try to stand, but am too weak, so I crumble. He catches me, and picks me up bridal style. He carries me to the door and we go out. Suddenly, we are surrounded.

"Put her down!" a man yells. Michael looks at me, and I nod. He lowers me and puts me on the ground.

"Get on the ground," he orders, and Michael obeys and gets on his knees. "Any last words?" the man asks.

"No! Stop!" I whimper, knowing what is going to happen.

"Shut up!" another man tells me.

"I love you" Michael tells me. I look at him with tears in my eyes.

"I love you too," I say to him. The man pulls out a knife and stabs him 3 times. "Noooo!" I scream. They shoot him twice. I crawl/limp to Michael, holding his hand. I watch him bleed out in my arms.

Amanda POV:

I watch as Nikita cries and sobs in her chair. The perfect revenge. I will make her relive the deaths of everyone she cares about. I will break her down mentally utill she can't tell the difference between reality and the things I implanted in her mind.

Alex POV:

I'm sitting there by myself and Sean walks in. "Sean, I told you I needed time," I tell him, not making eye contact.

"I know. But I also know that "space" is just a mask for the truth. What is really going on?" he asks.

"Nothing," I murmer.

"Alex, you can tell me anything," he says.

"Okay….maybe you're right. I love you Sean," I tell him.

"So what's the problem?" he replies, and holds my hand.

I pull my hand away "Sean, everyone that gets close to me gets hurt. I don't want to hurt you," I say to him, my eyes welling up.

"You won't." he replies.

"I have to go," I say and get up and leave.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the show! Reviews are appreciated!

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Nikita POV:

I sob over Michael's body, but this time Alex manages to find me. "Nikita, are you okay?" she asks.

"Alex...you need to leave. Leave me here and go. They will kill you." I tell her, motioning for her to go.

"I'm not leaving you," she replies, and helps me up. I lean on her and we make our way outside.

"Alex...wait…" I tell her. "You need to go before-" I get cut off from the guns shooting. We put our hands up in surrender. We get taken to a room, where they chain me to the wall. They put Alex in a chair, where she is tortured. Her screams fill the room and she begs for them to stop.

"This would've never happened if you had just left her alone," the man says.

"Please, I'll do anything. Just let her go." I beg them.

"It's too late for that," the man says and slits her throat. I watch helplessly as Alex chokes and bleeds out. Amanda comes in and plunges a syringe into my neck and knocks me out.

Michael POV:

"Where are we on finding Nikita?" I ask.

"We have nothing to work with. She hasn't called, and the video she found was untraceable," Birkhoff says angrily.

"Pull up the video again," I tell him. Birkhoff pulls up the video and I try to focus on the surroundings. "Zoom to the right corner," I say.

He zooms in and there is a label there. The label reads: S-Corp. "There's an abandoned warehouse that belongs to S-Corp, not too far from here," Birkhoff says.

"Let's go get her," I tell them.

Amanda POV:

I smile, as Nikita whimpers and cries for the death of her loved one. She can finally learn her lesson that loved ones are nothing more than a liability. My phone rings and I pick it up. "Hello?" I say.

"They have her location," a man tells me.

"Perfect timing," I reply back, glancing at Nikita. "The plan is complete. Nikita's memories have synced with the ones that I implanted. She thinks everyone she loves is dead because of her. Michael, Alex, Birkhoff and Sonya." I explain. I hang up the phone. I pull Nikita out of the simulation without her knowing I was the one that put her in there in the first place.

Nikita POV:

I wake up, and look around. I remember Alex, Birkhoff and Sonya dying, and...oh god Michael. Tears stream down my face, as I remember them dying in my arms. "You bitch. Why?" I scream. "They were innocent. It was me you wanted. Why did you kill them?" I say loudly.

She just looks at me and smiles. I notice the needle. "And what did you do to me while I was unconscious? What more could you possibly want now that everyone I love is dead?" I yell at her.

Suddenly the door gets knocked down and Michael runs in. Alex and Sean push Amanda to the ground, knocking her out. Michael runs to me. "Nikita...it's me," he says.

"No...get away from me. This is just one of Amanda's tricks." I whisper.

"No, it's me. I'm real." he says. The minute he unties me, I fall to the ground, weak from my injuries and starvation.

"Get away from me!" I yell. I inch backwards, away from him. I pull my knees up to my chest and sob. "Make it stop...make it stop…..this isn't real" I say over and every again, after burying my head in my arms.


	14. Chapter 14

Sorry for not updatings sooner, I had a few things going on. I hope you like the chapter. Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the show. Reviews are appreciated!

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Alex POV:

"Nikita, let's go. I promise I'm real," Michael says to Nikita.

"Michael, we have to go," I tell him. "Birkhoff says that Amanda has backup coming in less than 5 minute," I say frantically.

"I'm not leaving her," Michael yells. Michael grabs Nikita's arm, but she punches back, weakly. I take a deep breath and punch her, knocking her out.

"Alex!" Michael yells, "What the hell?" he says.

"She wasn't going to come willingly, let's get out of here and you can yell at me later," I tell him. He nods, and we run out. When we go get home Michael and Sean secure Amanda, and I help Sonya treat Nikita's wounds. We handcuff her hand to the bedpost, just for caution.

Michael POV:

"She's awake." Sonya says, looking at the camera.

"Okay. I need to talk to her," I tell them.

"I don't think that's the best idea." Sean replies.

"Why?" I ask.

"She thinks you're dead. If you show up, it'll freak her out even more. I think I should talk to her," Sean explains.

"You're right..." I say. "Just promise me you'll be gentle with her," I add.

"I promise." I assure him.

Nikita POV:

I wake up with pain radiating through my body. "Where am I?" I say, my voice raw. I start to panic.

"Nikita, calm down," Sean tells me when he walks in.

"Sean…" I say, and break down. "She killed them. They're all dead. Alex, Sonya, Birkhoff….Michael," I sob.

"Hey...it'll be okay," he replies, and hugs me. I hug back and sob into his shoulder. "But Nikita, they aren't dead," he tells me.

"Why would you say that? Do you not believe me?" I ask, my eyes searching his.

"I believe that Amanda implanted memories into your mind." he tries to tell me.

"No, they are dead. I saw them die. Their blood staining my hands." I tell him. I pull at the hand cuff.

"Those memories, they aren't real. It's like when Amanda implanted memories in Alex." He explains.

"Get away for me." I tell him.

"Nikita…" he starts to say. I curl up against the backboard of the bed. He sighs and stands up and leaves.

Michael POV:

My hand forms a fist as I see Nikita breaking down. As I see the damage Amanda has caused. The woman I see on the camera, is just a shell of the woman Nikita used to be before Amanda . She looks so vulnerable, and hurt. "Is Amanda awake?" I ask Alex.

"Yes she is." Alex replies. "But Michael, don't do anything rash. It's what she wants." she adds. I nod.

"That depends on Amanda," I tell her, and walk off.

Alex POV:

As I watch Nikita on the camera, I can't help but think about what Amanda did to her. I can't bear to watch Nikita in so much pain. She doesn't deserve it. I just wish there was something I could do. Nikita's state was taking a toll on all of them. None of them could sleep, knowing what Nikita was going through. But there was one thing that I know. If anyone can pull through this: it's us.


	15. Chapter 15

I will try to answer some of your questions in this chapter! Hope you like it! Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the show. Reviews are appreciated!

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Michael POV:

I open the door, and slam it shut. Amanda seems to be unaffected by my presence.

"Michael! How nice to finally see you again," she says with a grin.

"I have a few questions. If you know what's good for you, you'll answer them." I tell her, my fist clenching. She smiles. "Why did you leave Sean out of the programing?" I ask her.

Amanda POV:

"Well, Nikita is perhaps the most complex person I have ever met. She has a defense up in her mind, that took me a while to break. When I did however, my plan went into motion. Simply put, I wanted all of you to suffer, along with Nikita. And how better to do that, than making you sit back and watch, not being able to do anything? You have to sit back and watch another man comfort her. The key however, was letting Sean be the one to try and convince Nikita. He couldn't save Alex, so he is trying to save Nikita. He doesn't realize though, that Nikita's programming is 5 times stronger than Alex's. It's impossible to save her," I explain to him. I smile, when I see the expression on his face.

"You bitch.." he whispers, and shoots me in the leg. I groan in pain as blood trickles down my leg.

Alex POV:

I watch as Michael interrogates Amanda. There is no volume, but judging from Michael's expression, it isn't good. Suddenly, he shoots her. Amanda's mask falls, and her face crumbles in pain. I quickly stand and run into the room where Michael and Amanda are. I run in to see Michael holding a gun to her head. "Michael stop!" I yell.

"Go on, pull the trigger." Amanda urges.

"This is what she wants. Think about what Nikita would do," I tell him, hoping he will listen. He pauses for a second and then puts the gun down. He turns and leaves the room, without saying a word.

"Whatever you are planning, we will beat this," I say to her.

"You are welcome to try," she replies, smirking. I turn and leave.

Nikita POV:

I am sitting on the bed, pulling at the handcuff, trying to get free.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Sean says when he comes in. I don't reply. "Here, take this." he tells me, and hands me some pills and a glass of water.

"I don't need them," I reply, not making eye contact with him.

"Nikita, you're in pain, and you need to sleep. Amanda tortured you. She had you for days. The pills will help the pain," he explains to me. Reluctantly, I take the pills and swallow them.

"Sean, take this handcuff off of me." I glance at the bedpost where my hand is cuffed to.

"I can't Nikita, I'm sorry," he replies. "Nikita, I know you don't believe me. But I need you to think really hard. Back when you were with Amanda. When Michael died, did you hear or see something that didn't feel right?" he asks me.

"Stop trying to convince me they aren't dead!" I answer, raising my voice.

"Nikita, calm down. Look at me. I'm real," he says, putting my hand in his. "Just promise me you'll think about it," he adds, before standing up to leave.

"Sean…." I start.

"Nikita, promise me." he interrupts.

I nod. "Okay, I promise." I tell him.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the show. Reviews are appreciated! I tried to add a little twist in, let me know what you think!

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Nikita POV:

_In a dream…_

_I sit straight up, wondering where I am. I look around and see the place where Michael died. This time though, I look around to see if anything looks wrong. There isn't much, but I do hear a very faint voice. The voice is so faint that if you weren't looking, you wouldn't have noticed. It was Amanda's voice. I wonder how she got in my head. I see Michael die again in my arms, his blood all over my hands. _

I wake up screaming, and I shoot straight up out of bed, tears stained on my face. Sean runs in.

"Nikita! Are you okay?" he asks. I shake my head crying. I glance at the clock. It reads 2:35 am. He unlocks my handcuff and hugs me. I hug back, sobbing into his shoulder. When my sobs finally subside, he stands up. "I'll leave the handcuff off if you promise to stay in this room," he tells me.

"I promise," I say. He stands to leave. "Wait...can you stay with me? Until I fall asleep?" I ask, reluctantly.

"I'm right here," he replies, and sits on the edge of my bed.

"Sean….I heard something. In my dream, I was reliving Michael's death. But this time, it was different. I heard Amanda's voice. It was in my head," I tell him.

Sean POV:

"I need you to believe me. No one that you saw actually died." I explain.

"I don't know what to believe, but something isn't right," Nikita says to me.

"Sleep for now, we can talk tomorrow," I reply. She nods and lays down. I never noticed how beautiful she really was.

"Sean? Thank you," she tells me. I smile and we kiss, our lips melting into one another. I pull back and smile. I watch as she falls asleep. I have time to think about what just happened. I mean, I love Alex. And I know it's wrong, but kissing Nikita, it just happened.

_In the morning…_

Alex POV:

I wake up the next morning and go downstairs to find Sean asleep in his room. He comes out, rubbing his eyes. "What's wrong?" I ask him, concerned.

"Nothing." he says quickly. "Nikita woke up last night from a nightmare, and I was just taking care of her," he adds on.

"Oh okay," I reply, not fully satisfied but his answer. "Listen. I've been thinking about our last conversation, and I'm sorry for pushing you away," I apologize to him. "I want to have a future with you," I admit. He stares at me. "Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost"

"Yeah, I'm fine." he says to me. "I need some air," he says quickly and leaves.

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Okay so I know the Sean, and Nikita thing was a little different, but let me know if you don't like the paring. That being said, in the end everything will work itself out :) .


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the show. Reviews are appreciated! Okay, so based on your reviews, I will try to have the Nikita and Sean pairing last longer than originally planned! This chapter doesn't really develop the plot and conflict that much, but it develops Nikita, and Sean's relationship.

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Sean POV:

"I think that it would be best if you guys left," I tell them. "Nikita's getting suspicious as to why I'm not letting her out of her room," I explain.

"I'm not leaving her," Michael says.

"He's right. And as much as I don't want to leave, we may have to. Sean is our best chance at getting through to Nikita. He can't do that if Nikita doesn't trust him, or doubts him," Alex replies.

"Let's take Amanda, and I have a backup safehouse we can use," Birkhoff adds in.

"Okay fine, but I'm coming back if it takes too long," Michael tells me. I nod. They pack up and leave later that evening.

Nikita POV:

I wake up to the sun gleaming through the window. I stand, but still feel a little woozy from the sedative. I try the door knob. It's locked. I don't understand why Sean is keeping me locked up in this room. I'm beginning to think it's because he's hiding something from me. I stand by the window, letting the sun touch my face. I hear the door knob rattle and Sean opens the door.

"Good morning," Sean says.

"Good morning," I reply smiling a little. He smiles.

"Are you hungry?" he asks me.

"I'm starving," I say. He takes my hand and leads me out of the room. "Wait, you're letting me out of my room?" I ask him.

"Yes. I only had you in there so you could heal," he explains to me. He leads me to the table, where the plates are set.

"I didn't know that a boy scout could cook?" I say, surprised.

"There's a lot you don't know about me," he says smiling.

"Why are you doing this for me?" I ask.

"Nikita, I care about you. A lot more than you know," he replies. I blush a little, and finish eating.

"I miss them. A lot. So much that it hurts," I say, thinking of Michael.

"I know…" Sean replies and places a hand on my shoulder. I turn and kiss him, letting a tear slip down my cheek.

"Is this wrong?" I ask him. "I feel like I'm moving on too fast, but I don't want to put my life on hold like I did with Daniel. That took me to a bad place," I explain to him.

"Do whatever your heart tells you," Sean replies back. I nod.

Amanda POV:

Michael comes into the room. "Michael, I thought you would decide to drop by," I say.

"Cut the crap. You haven't told us the rest of your plan," he tell me.

"Hmm, you're right. I haven't. But why would I?" I ask him.

"Because you are about to go through a whole lot of pain if you don't tell me," he threatens.

"Fine. How far are we from Nikita and Sean?" I ask.

"About 36 hours away," he replies. "Why?" he asks.

"Just making sure that you wouldn't get back in time if you wanted to," I tell him. "I couldn't tell you the plan because you would try to stop it when you were with Nikita," I continue. "I kept Sean alive so I could play with his mind, and maybe implant certain feelings," I explain to him.

"What do you mean 'implant certain feelings'?" Michael asks.

"Maybe I could make Sean and Nikita….fall in love with each other. Take away the love of your life, and Alex's. Make both of you suffer in the most cruel way possible" I finish, smiling.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the show. Reviews are appreciated! Sorry this chapter took a little longer, I had some writers block, but I finally figured it out.

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Alex POV:

"She what?" I say in surprise when Michael tells me about Amanda. "Wait so Amanda programmed Sean and Nikita to fall in love with each other?" I continue.

"That's what she told me," Michael replies.

"Then we have to get back," I tell him urgently.

"I don't think we can..." Birkhoff says.

"Why not?" I ask.

"There's a bad electric storm on the horizon," he continues. "If we try to get back, we could all get hurt. Our comms wouldn't work either, none of our equipment would work. We have to wait at least 4 days, if not more," he explains to us.

"So we have to sit back and do nothing," Michael says.

"Well if the storm hasn't reached us, then maybe we can still contact them," I say hopefully.

"I'm not sure how they would react. If Amanda's programming is really as good as she says, then calling them will just complicate things," Sonya replies, joining the conversation.

Michael kicks the table and everything falls off with a loud noise. "Damn it!" he yells, frustrated.

"Unless..." I start.

"What?" Birkhoff asks.

"When I talked to Amanda last night, she said that she left a hole into Sean's programming. I thought that meant that she had a trigger in him, but what if we can use the hole to make him remember. If we could find out what it was exactly, maybe a phrase, or a word, then we could break Sean's programming," I explain.

"That could work," Birkhoff replies.

"I'll talk to Amanda," Michael says.

"No. Let me. Michael last time you talked to her, you shot her, and you were going to kill her," I stop him.

After a moment, he says "You're right." I nod and walk off.

Nikita POV:

_In a dream…_

_I am in the place where Alex died. I notice that same voice in my head. Amanda's voice. Isee Alex die again, my arms chained to the wall. I tug at the chains, but they don't give in. I stand there helplessly, watching her bleed out._

I jolt awake, gasping for breath and blinking back tears. I notice Sean still sleeping next to me, so I try not to make too much noise. I swing my legs over the bed so I'm sitting on the edge. I take deep breaths trying to calm my heart. "Hey, I'm awake. Are you okay?" he asks.

"I'm okay, I just had a bad dream. I'm sorry, did I wake you?" I ask.

"No, it's fine," he says. I lean over in bed and kiss him.

Alex POV:

I open the door and slam it shut. "How do I break Sean's programming?" I ask her.

"Alex, how nice of you to drop by," she replies calmly.

"Cut the crap. I need to know. You can either tell me, or I'll have Michael come in here and beat it out of you," I explain to her. She doesn't reply. "If I walk out that door, Michael will come in here and tortrue it out of you," I tell her. A few moments pass. "Fine," I say and stand and walk to the door.

"Wait," she says. I stop and turn around.

"Tell him 'Butterflies are God's proof we can have a second life'," she explains to me.

"Where did you hear that?" I ask.

"When I faked Sean's death, he kept repeating it over and over again. I assume it means something to you," she replies.

"It does," I say back. I turn and leave.


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the show. Reviews are appreciated! I'm still trying to figure out where to take this so that's why it's taking a little longer. Also for the purposes of the story, we are just to pretend that Alex told Sean about her butterfly tattoo and not Owen.

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Sean POV:

Nikita and I are in bed together. I kiss her deeply and she kisses back.

"Nikita, I love you," I tell her. She smiles.

"I love you too," she replies. We get out of bed and get dressed. I make breakfast and we eat together. I stare at her.

"What?" she asks, smiling. "You're making me nervous," she continues saying.

"Nothing, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen," I tell her. She smiles and blushes a little. Suddenly the phone rings. I go pick up the phone.

"Hello? This is Alex," a voice says.

"Hey…" I take the phone outside.

"Is everything okay?" she asks.

"Yes. Why wouldn't it be?" I reply.

"Sean, Amanda messed with your head. She implanted your feelings for Nikita," she explains.

"What? You're just jealous I've moved on," I tell her.

"Butterflies are God's proof that we can have a second chance at life," she says quickly.

"What?" I ask.

"Butterflies are God's proof that we can have a second chance at life," she repeats. A sharp pain goes through my head and I see flashes of Amanda, voices in my head. I remember the feelings I have for Alex, and the false memories and feelings she implanted. "Sean, are you there?" she questions, worried.

"Yeah, I'm here. I was such an idiot," I reply, realizing what I've done.

"So you remember?" she asks.

"Yes, I remember everything," I reply back.

Nikita POV:

"Sean? Is everything okay?" I ask, worried about him.

"Yes. I mean no. I have to go. See you soon," he says and hangs up.

"Who was that?" I ask.

"It was...an old friend," he replies.

"Oh um okay. Come inside," I tell him.

"You need to go back to your room," he says to me.

"What? Why?" I ask. He grabs my arm.

"Nikita, now." he replies firmly.

"No. You can't ask me to do and just expect me to do it without asking questions," I tell him, wrenching my arm from his grasp.

"I wasn't asking," he says. He tries to grab my arm again, so I push him away. "Nikita," he starts.

"Stay away from me," I reply back. He grabs my arm, and begins to pull me inside. I punch him, and knee him in the face. He dodges it and punches my face. I duck and kick his legs out from under him. He falls and pulls a gun.

"Nikita, stop," he says.

"You won't shoot me," I tell him. I turn and run down the street. Suddenly, a shot rings out and a sharp, blinding pain courses through my thigh and leg. I crumble to the ground and look at my thigh. Blood stains my leggings, and Sean comes running over.

"I'm sorry Nikita, I had to stop you from running," he brings over a needle with a sedative. As the syringe nears my neck, I grab his hand and turn it and plunge the needle into his arm, near his shoulder. He passes out next to me and I stand and limp away, knowing I needed to get as far away from here as possible.

Alex POV:

I'm sitting there with Michael and Birkhoff explaining to them what happened.

"I'm glad he remembers," Michael says.

"You and me both," I reply, smiling. Suddenly the phone rings. I pick it up.

"Hello?" I say.

"Alex...she ran. I tried to stop her…" he replies.

"Okay Sean breathe and slow down. What happened?" I ask.

"Nikita. She's gone." he responds.

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Okay so I have two ideas for storylines I can follow. Would you guys like me to do the longer one, or should I go with the shorter one?


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the show. Reviews are appreciated! I think I finally figured out the storyline, so hopefully I'll be able to update more frequently. I know a lot of you wanted a Sean and Amanda interrogation so I'll try to include one in the next chapter.

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Nikita POV:

I limp to an abandoned warehouse, that seems to be left in a hurry. I manage to find a box of matches, a piece of glass and a knife on the ground. I pull my leggings off and heat the glass with a match, to try and get rid of anything that could cause an infection. I insert the piece of glass into the wound and try to extract the bullet.

When I do so, blood pools out. I groan as I pull the bullet out of my leg. I bite back the sting of curse words that threaten to spill out. I find a half empty alcohol bottle, and pour alcohol over the wound, cleaning it out to prevent infection. I get the knife and heat it with another match. I cry out in pain as I press the blade to the wound cauterizing it shut. I slide to the ground against a wall, and fall asleep.

I wake up later. I look outside and the sun was high in the sky. Damn it. I slept almost 16 hours. I stand, careful not to put that much weight on my injured leg. I find a broken rod to use as a makeshift crutch. I look around the place and find some packaged food. I eat a granola bar and drink an entire bottle of water. I limp a little farther and see a white powder on the ground. It must've been a drug cartel.

"Turn around, slowly," a voice says. I hear the familiar click of the gun. I freeze, and turn around. "Too bad you've seen our product, I have to kill you now," he tells me.

"You can try," I reply, and grab the gun he was holding and twist it out of his grasp. He punches me and block it easily. I kick him with my injured leg, and immediately regret it. Waves of pain go through my body, starting at my leg. I fall to the ground and groan in pain. He comes at me again, so I shoot him twice in the chest. I pant and catch my breath.

I search his body and find bags of drugs and syringes filled with liquid on him. I stare at the contents for a while, wanting to consume them. I know I shouldn't but I have nothing left. Everyone I cared about is dead. The pain is consuming me, and I want nothing more to get rid of it. I plunge the syringe into my arm and let the drugs flow through my system.

Alex POV:

We arrive at the house and I run in and hug Sean. I kiss him deeply. "What happened?" I ask, running my hand gently over the bruises on his face.

"Nikita did that. After I got off the phone with you, things escalated. I had to shoot her. When I went to sedate her, she managed to turn the syringe and knock me out. I woke up and she was gone," he explains.

"You shot her?" Michael exclaims.

"I didn't have a choice. Besides it seems to be a recurring theme with use. Nikita shooting Michael, Alex shooting Nikita, Nikita shooting Alex, I could go on," he explains with a little smile.

"We need to find her," Michael says.

"She was trained to be a ghost. Finding her when she doesn't want to be found is close to impossible," Birkhoff tells us. Silence fills the room. We all know that he's right. Nikita's injured and alone. She has no money or food. I just hope that when we find her, she's still alive. I go to the room with the punching bag. I change into a tank top and punch the bag. Over and over again, until my knuckles split.

"Are you okay?" Michael asks, his voice pulling me out of my trance.

"I'm...okay," I reply.

"Alex, I know you better than that. If there is one thing that Nikita didn't teach you very well, it's lying. What's going on?," he questions.

"I'm scared Michael, and angry at Amanda for doing this. I'm frustrated that I can't help Nikita. I'm horrified at what could happen to her. I-" my sobs cut me off, and I let my tears fall freely.

"Hey, it'll be okay. If anyone can survive out there, it's Nikita. We just have to trust that she can fend for herself for long enough for us to find her. We have to have faith," Michael comforts me. He hugs me. I wipe my tears and nod. Michael turns and leaves. I sit on the bench that was there. I hope Nikita is okay. She's my best friend and mentor. I close my eyes and pray for her.


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the show. Once again, I apologize for the delay. Things keep coming up, so I don't get that much time to write. Reviews are appreciated! **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Sean POV:

I open the door and slam it shut. I use smelling salts to wake Amanda up. She gasps, and struggles with her restraints.

"Sean. How nice to see you again," she says, smiling.

"Shut up. I want answers," I tell her, trying to keep my tone in check.

"To what?" she asks, trying to act oblivious to the fact.

"Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. Why did you implant those….feelings inside of my brain?" I ask, wanting nothing more than to know the answer.

"I wanted Michael and Alex to suffer. What better way than to watch the people they love fall for someone else. It's a shame it had to end so soon," she explains.

"If anything happens to Nikita, Alex and Michael WILL kill you," I threaten. I stand and walk out.

Nikita POV:

I stumble through a dark alleyway, limping from the wound in my leg. The drugs numb some of my senses. I find some leftover food and eat that, along with some more of the drugs. I slide down against the wall, and take a few deep breaths, letting the drugs flow through my system.

"Hey!" a man yells. "You're the bitch that killed my friend in the warehouse," he continues.

I don't reply right away, and drop my head. A few moments later, I mumble "Go to hell."

"What did you say to me?" he asks.

"Go. To. Hell" I repeat again, loudly. He grabs me by my shirt and pulls me up. I punch him. Normally, that would've rattled my opponent, but my muscles and movement is weak. He pushes me against the wall and grabs my throat. I claw at his hands, but he is too strong. I start to see stars.

"Wait! Let her go!" another man says. I fall to the ground and gasp for breath. "I almost didn't recognize you. You're the famous Nikita Mears," he continues.

"You're right Simon. It is her. She would get us good money on the black market. Plus, she's already high," the one that attacked me continues.

"Take her," Simon orders.

"No...stop," I say, my words slur together. The other man pins me against the wall, and ties my hands and legs together. I struggle but he knocks me out.

I wake up later in a room, tied to a table. My hands and legs tied to the corners of the table. An ivy runs through my arm.

"Good you're awake," a voice says. He comes into view. "Now, I'm assuming you want this, so I need you to smile for the camera, so we can get your profile set," he holds up a syringe with drugs. I desperately want more drugs, so I obey. He takes the picture and then empties the contents of the syringe into my ivy.

Michael POV:

Alex and I are sitting on the couch, waiting for an update.

"I got her!" Birkhoff exclaims. Alex and I jump to our feet.

"Where is she?" I ask.

"You aren't going to like it. Her face popped up on a black market website. Says that she's in New York city," he explains.

"Wait, backup. Black market?" Alex says, worried.

"She may not be there by choice. The auction date is set in 3 days. And frankly, she doesn't look too good," Sonya replies.

"We can infiltrate. Pose as buyers, and then get her the hell out of there," Michael explains.

"We have another problem. Nikita still thinks we are still need to break Amanda's programming," Alex tells us.

"Amanda. We can talk it out of her. She values her own life far above Nikita's," Sean says, joining the conversation.

"Okay, it's settled. Alex and I can talk to Amanda, Sonya and Birkhoff can find us a way into that damn place. Sean, you can start on our covers," I say, assigning tasks. Alex and I head to Amanda's room.

"I just hope we aren't too late," I tell her.

"I have to believe that Nikita can hold her own for a few more days," Alex reassures me. I nod.

"Let's get this over with," I say, and I open the door to her room.


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the show. Reviews are appreciated! I did have a question, for my next story, what if I did a crossover? I might do a regular story and a crossover story at the same time. What are some good shows, that you guys have watched, to do a crossover for?

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Alex POV:

"We found Nikita," Michael says

"She's being held by a black market operator. We need to know how to break her programing," I tell her.

"And why would I tell you that?" she asks.

"Because it's your life or hers," Michael explains.

"You aren't going to kill me. You would've done that already," she replies.

"Here's the thing. Nikita is more important to me than you could ever be," Michael tells her.

"More important to us," I add in. Michael pulls a gun. "Your life for a way to break Nikita's programming. It's a simple trade really," I continue. Michael presses the gun to her head.

"I pull the trigger on the count of 3. 1…..2…." Michael counts.

"Okay, wait," she interrupts. I smile.

"Well...we're waiting," Michael says.

"You have to tell her 'The only way to save me, is to save yourself'. Nikita kept saying it to you when I had her bugged, and frankly I thought it was poetic," she replies.

"If you're lying, I swear I'll empty all the bullets in my gun into you," Michael threatens.

"Michael, we should go," I say. He nods and we leave the room.

"Birkhoff, where are we with our way in?" Michael asks.

"I got you tickets into the auction," he replies.

"You covers are Sasha and Kyle Smith," Sean says. "You'll have to wear disguises, because half the world will recognize Alexandra Udinov," he explains.

"I got a helicopter to take you to New York tomorrow," Sonya adds in.

"Perfect," I say.

"We have another problem. You can't show up without any money. They'll think that's suspicious," Sean tells us.

"I can put some money together," I reply.

"You'll need a hell of a lot, the starting bid is $1 million dollars," Birkhoff says.

"I will handle that," I reassure them. "We are getting Nikita back," I continue, and then walk out.

Nikita POV:

They moved me to a dark room last night. My hands and legs stay bound together, and they only ever come to keep me high. Being alone gives me a lot of time to think. This whole situation is kind of ironic. I saved Alex from these similar circumstances. Now she's dead, and I'm right back where I started all those years ago. The whole situation and my life is coming in full circle. I rest my head against the wall. This is the first time in a really long time that I would welcome the prospect and possibility of death, with open arms.

Michael POV:

The plane ride is filled with an awkward silence. All I can think about is Nikita. She looked so frail and hurt in the image on her profile. We land in New York on the day of the auction. "We have two hours to get ready for the mission," I tell Alex. She nods.

_Two hours later_

Alex POV:

We pull up to the auction. I step out, my heels clicking on the ground. I take Michael's hand and he leads me inside. We got through security and a man meets us. "Who do you intend to buy today?" he asks.

"Nikita Mears," Michael answers.

"Follow me this way," he says. He leads us to a room filled with other buyers. We enter and see a glass window on the wall. We look into it and see a dark figure against the wall of the dimly lit room.

"It's a one way glass," the man tells us. "If you'll excuse me, I have to attend to some business," he continues. I nod. Inside the glass, the figure lifts its head. Her hair is a tangled mess, her eyes are wild, and she looks like she hasn't eaten in a while.

"Oh my god. Nikita," Michael breathes out.


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the show. Reviews are appreciated! I know this is a shorter chapter, but I feel like it ended where it should. So I'm glad a lot of you have recommended Agents of SHIELD and CW's Beauty and the Beast, because those are both shows I love. I'll think about potential story lines and let you know what I decide! This story will probably end in the next couple chapters.

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Michael POV:

My hand clenches into a fist. Alex places a hand on my shoulder. "We can't blow our cover," she says.

"We need to communicate with her," I whisper to Alex.

"Attention all bidders, the bidding will start momentarily," a voice says through the intercom.

"Michael, look," Alex tells me and points to the speakers in Nikita's room. "If we can somehow get into the intercom, we can talk to Nikita," I continue.

"We can fight our way in. I count 4 men. We can take them," I explain to her.

"We can't be rash," she replies. "If we try to fight our way out, our covers will be blown," she tells me.

"We can fire a bullet. Let everyone panic and grab Nikita in the process. Alex, I need you to trust me," I tell her. "Just follow my lead, and we will be fine," I reassure her. She nods.

I take Alex's arm and lead her to the booth. She punches the man and we fight our way to the intercom. I grab it and say "The only way to save me, is to save yourself." Nikita doesn't react. I say it again.

Nikita POV:

I am laying there lost in my thoughts when a voice comes over the intercom. "The only way to save me, is to save yourself." A sharp pain goes through my head. I squeeze my eyes shut and everything comes rushing back. I cry out in pain. I remember Amanda's voice in my head. I remember the hallucinations. I remember getting trading myself for Michael.

"Oh my god," I whisper.

"Nikita!" Michael and Alex run in.

"Michael, I'm so sorry..." I whisper. Tears falling and streaming down my face. I try to stand, but my body feels like it weighs 1000 pounds.I fall into his arms, and he carries me out. I fall into the darkness. I awaken, as we are reaching the house. We arrive, and Michael carries me down the hall. I see a closed room where Amanda is undoubtedly being held. I tumble out of his arms. I grab Michael's gun and push him out of my way. I shoot the door knob and open the door. I stumble into the room.

"Nikita, you look terrible." she says. I point the gun at her.

"Nikita, don't do this," Michael tells me.

"She's not worth it," Alex adds in.

"She doesn't deserve to live," I say. I shoot her in the stomach, twice. She gasps for air, as the blood fills her lungs.

"W-why?" she chokes out.

"You deserved it," I whisper, breathing hard. Alex feels for a pulse.

"She's dead," Alex says, hardly believing it herself. I pass out, and once again, he catches me.


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the show. Reviews are appreciated! There will probably be one more chapter after this one.

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Nikita POV:

I wake up in a bed, an IV running through my arm. I sit up frantically thinking I'm still in the cell, or that I've been sold. I groan. "Hey, take it easy," Alex says.

"Alex?" I ask.

"Yeah, it's me. Michael's out right now, but he'll be back soon. You'll have some headaches, among other things, from the detox treatment. You'll feel weak as well, from both the detox and your bullet wound. It was slightly infected so we had to treat that," she explains. I nod, and lay back. "So do you want to talk about what happened?" she questions.

"There's nothing to talk about. Amanda messed with my head, Sean shot me, I relapsed and got high, I was almost sold, and then you saved me." I reply.

"Come on Nikita. I know you better than that. What happened to you was horrible. It's okay not to be okay," she says.

"I don't know Alex. I just… I guess I never thought I would relapse. I went through some pretty dark times, and had thoughts I hadn't had in a since before Division. When I was in that cell, waiting to be sold, I was actually ready to die. I wanted to die," I tell her.

"Well, I'm here for you. We all are," she replies.

"You have no idea how much that means to me," I say, smiling.

"Nikita," a voice says. I look at the door.

"Sean," I reply.

"Can I have a minute with her?" he asks Alex.

"Of course," Alex tells him. She stands and leaves. She kisses him on the way out.

"How are you feeling?" he asks me.

"Like I've been hit by a truck," I reply, with a small smile. "Can you help me sit up?" I ask.

"Of course," he responds, and helps me. "I need to apologize. My intention was never to hurt you. I just needed to stop you from running. The easiest was to do that was to shoot you. I'm sorry," he apologizes.

"It's okay. Honestly, I wasn't myself. You did what you had to do," I respond.

"Nikita!" another voice exclaims.

"Michael…" I say. He enters into the room.

"I'll give you some room," Sean says and leaves.

"Thank you. You know, for saving me," I tell him. He sits next to me on the bed.

"I would tear the world apart for you," he replies, and brushes a stray piece of hair behind my ear. There is an awkward silence.

"Michael, what happened between me and Sean...it was nothing. It was Amanda's screwed up programming," I explain.

"You don't have to explain. I know Amanda messed with your heads. It's not your fault," he responds.

"I love you. So much it hurts." I whisper. He pauses for a moment, and then our lips collide. Time stops and in the moment, it's just me and him. His hands travel to my face, and cup my cheeks. It feels like eternity, and then we finally break apart.

"I love you too," he responds.

"Ugh, I wish I could unsee that," someone says. I look up and smile.

"Nerd!" I exclaim. He comes over and hugs me.

"I'm glad you are okay," he says.

"We all are," Sonya adds, coming into the room. Alex and Sean come in as well.

"I have to thank all of you. You didn't give up on me. No matter what happened," I tell everyone.

"You would do the same for any of us," Alex responds. I smile. Michael takes my hand, and in that moment, everything was perfect.


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the show. Reviews are appreciated! I hope you enjoyed the final chapter! I'll hopefully post the next story soon. Have all of you watched Agents of SHIELD? If you haven't, I can totally write a nirmal story and a crossover at them same time.

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_3 years later..._

Alex POV:

"Miss Udinov, a call for you," Sarah, my assistant, tells me.

"Thank you," I repond, and pick up the phone. "Hello?" I say.

"Hey Alex," a familiar voice replies.

"Nikita! It's so good to hear your voice. It's been so long," I tell her.

"It really has. I heard you're in the country, do you want to meet up?" she asks.

"That would be amazing! Send over the details and Sean and I would love to join," I say, smiling.

"I'll send them over. See you soon!" she finishes, and then hangs up. Sean comes in.

"Who was that?" Sean asks.

"Nikita, she heard that we were in the country, and she's inviting us over," I explain to him.

"It'll be nice to see them all," he says, and kisses me.

Nikita POV:

"That was Alex. She's going to come over," I tell Michael.

"I just talked to Birkoff, he's coming over with Sonya," he says. I nod. "We can finally tell them the good news," he continues. I smile and text Alex the address.

_Later that evening…_

The doorbell rings. "I got it!" I call to Michael. I open it and Alex and Sean are standing there.

"Nikita!" Alex exclaims. She hugs me, and I hug back.

"You look good. I love the long hair," I tell her.

"I've missed you so much," she says.

"Me too," I reply. I hug Sean. "How are you Boyscout?" I ask.

"I'm great," he responds. I smile.

"Come in," I tell them, and lead them in. "We're just waiting for Birkhoff and Soyna, and then we can get started," I explain. They hug Michael, and we talk for a while before the doorbell rings again. Michael opens it and Birkhoff and Sonya come in. "Nerd!" I exclaim and hug him.

"Hey Nikki," he says and hugs back. I hug Sonya, and we all talk for a while.

"Are we ready for dinner?" I ask.

"Mmm yes, I'm starving," Alex replies.

We eat and we talk, until Sean says "I have a question to ask a very important person."

"What's going on?" Alex asks. I press a button and the overhead lights dim, and lights Michael and I hung up turn on. Sean takes her hands.

"Alex, we've been through a lot, but somehow we always find our way back to each other. I'm the happiest when I'm with you," he tells her. He gets down on one knee. "Will you make me the luckiest man in the world, and marry me?" Sean asks.

Alex POV:

I stare at him, speechless. Tears of happiness jump to my eyes. "Yes," I respond. He slides the ring on my finger, and his lips find mine. We kiss, and I hold on to him, not wanting this moment to end. Everyone claps. "Did all of you know about this?" I ask. They all nod.

"My best friend was getting engaged. Of course I wanted to help with it," Nikita tells me.

Nikita POV:

"We have something to tell you," Soyna says. "Seymour and I got married last year," she continues.

"You got married?" I ask, in surprise. "And you didn't invite us?" I joke.

"Hey, you and Michael freaking eloped and got engaged without telling us," Birkoff says, laughing.

"Well, Nikita and I also have something to tell all of you," Michael says.

"I'm pregnant," I blurt out. "I'm sorry, I couldn't wait any longer," I continue.

"Congratulations!" Alex says, and hugs me and Michael.

"Thank you," I respond.

"A toast! To Michael and Nikita" Alex tells up.

"No, a toast to new beginnings, family, and happiness. Cheers," I say, raising my glass.

"Cheers!" everyone repeats. Our glasses clink together. I take Michael's hand, and kiss him. He kisses back, and I smile.

As I look around, I notice that everyone is happy. Years ago, when we were all on different sides of the war, I would've never believed that we could ever reach here. When all of us were truly happy, and free of our past. I would've never believed that it was possible. Yet here we are after defying all the odds, after beating Percy, Amanda, and all the threats to the world. We are free and clear of our past, content with our present, and able to shape our future as we wish.


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